Heels of Glory Synopsis & songs

To accompany this synopsis, we recorded some of the songs in the show, and you can listen to them here. (We’ve made some changes and improvements since the recordings were made, but you’ll still get a good idea of the excitement, humour and uniqueness of this show.)

Ready? Here we go...

Act One

Song: La Douche (ensemble)

We are transported to La Douche, the most fabulous drag club in the world. The lyrics are dripping with sexual metaphor, while the music and action quote a classic sixties James Bond title sequence: human silhouettes form abstract and suggestive shapes, with projections, giant props, smoke, the works.

Song: Going Out Tonight (Honey, J, Allura & ensemble)

Honey, a teenage boy and budding drag queen, arrives outside the nightclub wearing a hoodie, and carrying her drag in plastic bags.

JHoney She loses her nerve and is about to leave, but her best friend J (left), a teenager of undefined gender, persuades her to put on her drag in the queue (right). Tonight, on her birthday, she will meet her icon Splendorella, the most beautiful drag queen in the universe.

Allura, the owner of La Douche, instructs her doormen to let only drag queens in for tonight’s very special event. She wants no press or spies at the launch of her new cosmetic, Supreme Sure Fire Foundation.

J gives Honey her birthday present: a beacon ring. If ever Honey is in trouble she just has to press it and J’s own ring will start flashing. Honey is heartened. It is a very shiny ring.

The nightclub doors open and the queue of drag queens totter inside, with Honey and J taking up the rear. The song comes to an abrupt end as harsh reality kicks in and our heroes are denied entry to La Douche by the doormen.

Honey channels her drag queen fabulousness for the first time and gives the doormen attitude, pretending to be her idol, Splendorella. She claims J is her bodyguard. The doormen are fooled and let them both in.


Inside La Douche, Splendorella (left) makes her grand entrance, heels first.

Song: Heels of Glory (Splendorella)

Splendorella greets her fans, and banters with adoring new arrival Honey, before introducing her twin sister to the stage: Allura Supreme, creator of Supreme Cosmetics.

AlluraSong: How To Be Lovely (Allura)

Allura (left) appears in a tailored lab coat and immaculate makeup. In song, she extols the power of her cosmetics to create natural beauty.

As the song ends, she announces the launch of her new product for the drag dermis at midnight tonight.

Honey’s ruse to get inside La Douche backfires when the doormen who let her in push her onto the stage, believing her to be Splendorella. Terrified, she tries to recreate Splendorella’s dance routine.

Splendorella catches the baby drag queen in her spotlight. Instead of booting her off, she trains Honey in drag attitude, teaching her to combat hostility with witty and incisive insults.

Song: Sticks and Stones (Splendorella & Honey)

During training, Honey’s tutor reminds her “douchehags” that she is the one and only Splendorella. The doormen realise their mistake and forcibly remove Honey from the stage. J assumes Honey has been thrown out of the club, and goes after her.

Outside the club, there’s no sign of Honey. J tries to find out from the doormen where they took Honey, but discovers they don’t speak. J tries to get back into the club, but is denied admission. The doormen lead the audience in a singalong to establish their credentials as villianous Henchman.

Song: Silent but Deadly (part 1) (J & Henchmen)

Shift change. An alarm sounds, and two new Henchmen take over from the first two. They insist on performing the song all over again.

Song: Silent but Deadly (part 2) (J & Henchmen)

At the end of the song, J bluffs their way past the new pair of Henchmen. Inside the club, J goes into spy mode and transforms into Agent Nemesis.

Song: Secret Agent (Silent but Deadly reprise) (J)

J uses their stiletto heel secret weapon to sneak past more guards and unlock the door into Allura’s back passage. They press a big red button, a shaft opens in the floor, and J falls down it.

J lands in a secret underground lair, and discovers cages full of imprisoned drag queens. J is caught by Allura, taken prisoner and suspended over a vat of poisonous chemicals. J learns that Allura has an evil master plan, but Allura won’t divulge the details because it’s still Act One. J has come too soon.

Allura explains her hatred of drag queens – in song.

Song: I Hate a Man in Drag (Allura)

Honey is tied up in a makeup chair, thinking she’s about to get a Supreme makeover. Splendorella finds her and frees her, warning her to escape from La Douche, because drag queens who come here for a makeover are never seen again. Honey won’t leave her idol’s side until Splendorella tells her what it’s like to be in her skin – in song.

Song: Don’t Let Them Drag You Down (Splendorella)

Honey’s beacon ring is flashing. J is in danger. Splendorella guesses that J must be in Allura’s secret underground lair. To get there, they will have to go down Allura’s velvet tunnel.

Splendorella and Honey set off down the tunnel, but Splendorella is snatched by unseen hands. Honey continues alone.

Honey emerges from the velvet tunnel to discover J suspended above the vat of poisonous chemicals, behind a net of deadly laser beams. Honey uses her drag ingenuity to rescue J, and they run for it, chased by Henchmen.

Song: Chase Song (Honey & J)

Just as Honey and J are about to be caught, a siren goes, and all the Henchmen knock off. It’s break time.

The Henchmen invite the audience to join them at the bar. It’s the…


Act Two

Honey and J emerge from Allura’s velvet tunnel in Splendorella’s dressing room. They share what they’ve found out from Allura and Splendorella and figure out Allura’s evil master plan: to destroy all the drag queens of the world with poisoned makeup.

J starts raiding Splendorella’s wigs and costumes for an undercover disguise, so they can go back into Allura’s secret underground lair without being recognised.

But Honey refuses to stay at La Douche. It’s too dangerous. She thinks they should both get out while they can.

J is appalled that Honey would rather save herself than her idol Splendorella and the whole of drag queen kind. J is going back to try and stop the launch of Supreme Sure Fire Foundation, with or without Honey. J takes their disguise and leaves, abandoning Honey for her cowardice. Honey is left alone.

Song: Too Big For Me (Drag Fairy Godmother, Honey, Inner Drag Queen & Ensemble)

Honey realises – in song – that she has nothing to go home to: the drag world is the only place she belongs. She finds the courage to put on Splendorella’s Heels of Glory and go back to Allura’s secret underground lair. Honey presses the big red button that opens the shaft.

Honey falls down the shaft. Her descent is terrifying. It’s like Alice in Wonderland falling down the rabbit hole, but with more sexual innuendo.

Song: Going Down (Honey & ensemble)

Honey lands in Allura’s secret underground lair and discovers the drag queens in cages. She searches the cages and finds Splendorella – but Splendorella is unconscious. Honey brings her round by applying her face powder. Together they free the rest of the imprisoned drag queens. One of them is J, so well-disguised that even Honey didn’t recognise them. Honey and J beg Splendorella to leave La Douche before her sister poisons her at midnight with her new makeup.

Song: Don’t Go On Stage (Honey & J)

Honey and J tell Splendorella – in song – that she must live because she’s Honey’s and every drag queen’s hero.

Song: I Must Go On (Splendorella)

Splendorella reveals - in song - that until now she has been hiding from the ugly truth. She leaves, taking the freed drag prisoners with her.

Honey and J try to escape Allura’s underground lair so they can stop the midnight launch, but encounter the Henchmen blocking their path. It’s time for the Fight Sequence: Honey uses drag queen fabulousness, and J uses secret agent ingenuity to combat the Henchmen, but they just keep coming. In a flash of inspiration, Honey stops them by calling the Henchmen Agency and cancelling Allura’s contract.

Allura is backstage in the nightclub, about to launch her new makeup brand and achieve her lifetime ambition to destroy drag queen kind.

Song: The Day the Drag Queens Die (Allura)

Allura, on stage and live streaming throughout the world, announces the launch of Supreme Sure Fire Foundation, free to the first 50,000 drag queens at her stores on the stroke of midnight. Honey and J interrupt the launch, restrain Allura, and announce to the drag world that the makeup is poisoned and will kill any drag queen who puts it on their skin. Allura denies their allegations. Why would anyone believe two teenagers over a respected skin care expert?

Honey snatches the foundation from Allura and announces she will prove to the drag world that it really is poisoned. Splendorella enters and takes the foundation from Honey at the last moment. Splendorella puts it on her own face.

Song: You Can’t Change What I Am (Splendorella)

Splendorella collapses as the poison takes effect.

Honey threatens Allura and makes her reveal the antidote – water. Honey and J throw water on Splendorella and she comes round – alive but hideously disfigured. Splendorella asks for time alone with her sister.

Flashback sequence. Splendorella and Allura revisit moments from their shared history (playing all the parts themselves): their own parents saying Splendorella is the beautiful one, Splendorella stealing Allura’s first boyfriend, and Allura being mistaken for a bad drag queen at a drag club. Splendorella tells Allura she forgives her attempted murder, but Allura rejects the reconciliation. She runs away, and falls down her own shaft. Alone, Splendorella confronts her no-longer-beautiful face in the mirror.

Honey enters, transformed into a new drag queen, her own person, not a poor copy of Splendorella. She calls for J to come and see her new look, but J isn’t there. Honey starts searching for J, who must be in disguise, hiding out in the audience. Honey confronts various audience members she thinks are J, until she discovers J at last, disguised as a tech. J says Honey doesn’t need their help any more now that she’s become a hero. But Honey persuades her best friend to join her for the finale, and gives them a finale makeover.

Song: reprise of La Douche (Honey)

Finale Part One. Splendorella enters to join Honey and J, transformed, and wearing her scars with pride. The released drag prisoners troop on to join the chorus line. At the end of the line is Allura, without makeup, claiming amnesia. Splendorella and Allura are reconciled. Honey takes the lead in her own version of Heels of Glory.

Song: Heels of Glory, Honey’s finale reprise (Honey & Ensemble)

Finale Part Two. A loud rumbling. Allura realises she forgot to turn off the gas under the vat of poisonous chemicals. All are showered in a glitter explosion as the sprinklers go off.

Song: Don’t Let Them Drag You Down – finale reprise (Ensemble)

After the applause and bows, Honey & Splendorella invite the audience on stage to join them for the…

Dance remix of Don’t Let Them Drag You Down (Ensemble)

Copyright © 2013-2021 Heather Tyrrell and Richard Link